Every time I come here I feel the same In that I feel completely different Usually when someone says “What’s your name?” I feel like I’m saying C-C-C-C-Clark Kent Like maybe this could be A reasonable facsimile A modern-day marvelous Secret Identity Is it still me? Is it just me? Every time I come here I sing that song And everybody sings the words The lights are bright upon me, I’m King Kong And every little clap, my heart flap-flaps like birds Like maybe this could be The birth of my celebrity A red carpet, carpe diem Times infinity Is it still me? Is it just me? I try to be a single entity But different situations seem to call for different versions of Me, as a meme ever evolving Seems funny that they’d keep an extra-temporal haven for me To return the favor Every time I come here you look the same In that you’re congruent with your still image Everybody’s got a holy name So I walk-walk-walk this pilgrimage Like maybe this could be A test of my divinity A prayer circle in search of Lasting serenity Is it still me? Is it just me? I try to be a single entity But different situations seem to call for different versions of Me, as a meme ever evolving Seems funny that they’d keep an extra-temporal haven for me To return the favor

Neil deGrasse Tyson Is a Titan of the Mind Like a chocolate Carl Sagan His sagaciousness tickles my spine He’s not worried about the children (Oh no no) He’s worried about the adults (No no no) He’s not worried about the violence (No no no) It’s science in the hands of dolts Oh Neil, tell me why We aren’t living in space stations on the moon And Neil, tell me why We won’t be getting to Mars very soon He’s not worried about the end times (No no no) He’s worried about the here-and-now (Now now now) He’s just worried about a future (No no no) Where science is just a cash cow Neil deGrasse Tyson Is a Titan of the Mind Like a godless Johannes Kepler He knows what makes the universe divine He’s not worried like Neil Cavuto (Oh no no) He knows the Earth’s not the enemy (No no no) If you step up he’ll treat you like Pluto (No no no) And demote you permanently Oh Neil, tell them how You would improve our un-intelligent design And Neil, tell them why Nothing will happen when the planets all align (Oh no no) (No no no) (No no no) Raise your glass to Neil To a real man of science

Behold, a lonely, little Party God Living underneath couch cushions with all of your lost buds But if you listen close he might tell you what’s up If youth is wasted on the young, then let’s get wasted and have fun If dreams're wasted on the old, then let’s let’s go on dreaming Sing it out, sing “Celebrate Good Times” and “Shout” Wring yourself out, every drop counts, every drop counts Behold, the state of your former deity You gave him up for adoption so you could watch more TV But if you listen up you might still hear his decree If youth is wasted on the young, then let’s get wasted and have fun If dreams're wasted on the old, then let’s let’s go on dreaming Sing it out, sing “Celebrate Good Times” and “Shout” Wring yourself out, every drop counts, every drop counts Behold, how small a Party God can get, when all of his followers All his followers forget to wear their priestly vestments and buy their holy incense But if you listen well I promise he will make sense If youth is wasted on the young, then let’s get wasted and have fun If dreams're wasted on the old, then let’s let’s go on dreaming Sing it out, sing “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt Wring yourself out, every drop counts, every drop counts

Question Number One: Do you turn the radio off when you’re driving around lost? In the space between all the things you would do And all the things you will do How many cars could you park? What’s your native biome? Favorite Food? Favorite Song? Actual Favorite Song? Please circle all early-20th-century-eugenics designations and mid-90s-high-school-movie-social-hierarchy categories that have, do or will apply to you: Negroid/Caucasoid/Spazoid/Mongoloid Jock/Nerd/Gypsy/Drama Geek Slut/Prude/Prussian/Punk Hunk/Hun/Goth/Visigoth Invisible/Invincible/Indochine Chic/Freak/Mozambique/Mudblood Adult Disguised as a Teenager Teacher’s Pet/Burnout/Brahmin/Bully Beggar/Braggart/Bastard Adult Trapped in a Teenager’s Body Vengeful Ghost/Peaceful Corpse/Dirt True or False: Eventually the rhythm is going to get you. Do you pay for music? Given the opportunity, would you sell out? Are you Are you sure about that? Are you going to eat that? How many How many times have you How many times have you hung up on someone And blamed it on bad reception? Are you going to listen to this whole thing? When was the first When was the first time you tasted alcohol? What do you want to be when you grow up? Have you ever Would you ever Would you negotiate with terrorists? Will you ever Will you ever stop? Question Twenty-Seven: Do you regret the way you treated Your First Kiss Your First Lay Your First Love D. All of the above Estimate and Average the following: % of your Exes you can still have dinner with Fraction of People at your 10-year reunion you will give A Fraction of a Shit about Weekly decisions you make out of spite In a head-to-head battle with your 10-year old self, could you win at: [ ] Two-square [ ] Tether ball [ ] Checkers [ ] Quarters [ ] An argument [ ] Life Finish this sentence: Scale of 1 to 10 Dot eyes, cross tees Fill-in-the-blanks And don’t forget to show your work Please check all that apply [ ] I should be on TV [ ] I would survive zombies [ ] Everything sucks [ ] I am happier now than I was five years ago [ ] Punk is Dead [ ] Batman for President [ ] I deserve to be happy [ ] I am an adult [ ] I would rather be a cartoon [ ] My friends know something that I don’t [ ] 9/11 was an inside job [ ] I really want to hear about your weird dream [ ] I am happier now than I was ten years ago [ ] I like myself If If you When you find what you are looking for What will you look for next?

To return to the roots To become the roots To be buried in dirt To become the good word Who do you think I am? Who do you think I am? I don't know To return to the soil To become the soil To eat the seeds To become a redwood tree Who do you think I am? Who do you think I am? I don't know Sometimes I wish that I was still that person that you ran to With all your problems but I’m not your dad Wish that I could solve all of your crying shames with simple games And sayings that I pulled right out of my ass Ask me all of the questions That you were too young to know that you should have been asking Asking me Like who do you think you are? I don’t know Sometimes I wish that we all lived in the same place so we could See all of each other every single night But I know if we spread out like seeds or sleeper cells Then we can tell the big bad world to go straight to hell Hello, all of my old friends We are too young to have lost so many branches I am, I am the Redwood I am a New Man, and so are you So are you