God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt Unless it’s a lot of dirt packed into an open wound God made bugs but she also made me not like bugs Not all the bugs just the bugs tryin’ to live in my bedroom If you gotta gotta get out (gotta gotta) Then go and don’t look out below Lava’s slow like an ice flow (gotta gotta) If you froze you couldn’t let go And you’ve got to learn to unfreeze and let go Don’t do drugs if you don’t do drugs Unless it’s a lot of drugs you’ll wake up on the dark side of the moon Clouds make gloom but they also make the ceiling of a room Is it just me or are the walls fog cover on the move? If you gotta gotta get out (gotta gotta) Then go and don’t look out below Lava’s slow like an ice flow (gotta gotta) If you froze you couldn’t let go And you’ve got to learn to unfreeze and let go If you go, just go Don’t look back don’t slow your roll If you know you’re low Go all in or don’t go Oo o oh Oo o oh Don’t go o oh unless you go

Once upon a rock when the jets were turned on When the local honks were a vocal taunt We haunted a path like a snake don’t make a sound Rainer Freytag’s sock is stuffed in a box With a bunch of stuff we almost forgot I can’t forget you I’ll always keep you close at hand (Lord hand) At hand (Lord hand) At hand Lord hand me a staff I can lean against! I’ll be your rock if you’ll be my redeemer I’ll be the tibia to your femur We’ll help each other get around Though the sock may be lost I now it can be found Once upon a cot lay a summer sloth Feeling duped and lost like a mixed tape gets tossed Into the backseat or gets crushed under baggage in the trunk Rainer Freytag’s sock is a charm of good luck That we were never caught is so proof enough I still believe our luck will never end (Lord send) Never end (Lord send) Never end Lord send me a staff I can lean against! I’ll be your rock if you’ll be my redeemer I’ll be the tree branch to your lemur You know we’re not just monkeying around Though the sock may be lost I know it can be found Once upon my chest lay a statement in jest For the Ladies it was a litmus test We were sure if it worked we’d find gold beneath the dirt Rainer Freytag’s sock is a treasure box Filled with emblems of peace, love and rock Our code lives on in the jangly buttons on my coat (Lord knows) On my coat (Lord knows) on my coat Lord knows I need a staff I can lean against! I’ll be your rock if you’ll be my redeemer I’ll be the confetti to your streamers It’s always party time in party town Though the sock may be lost I know it can be found

Hell is what you think you deserve If you give in to your guilt you might live in a Hell on Earth Don't just look to the horizon You should look down at your feet They're closer and easier to see I promise you won't have to worry 'bout the end of the world No, history doesn't hate you It just remembers the you that you could live without If you run your past might chase you The problem with a closet of bones is the smell might rub off on your clothes High school cannot hurt you (hurt you) Neither can your ex-loves (hurt you) I promise you won't have to worry 'bout the end of the world When the sun (sun) burns out (burns out) And the buildings (buildings) that we took for granite are ground into (ground into) Sand (sand) and the curtain falls down (down) On the age of man (man), there won't be a man around (man around) To suffer for his sins If Rapture's what you're after Your image has been captured with a caption so absurd God is a good villain His story's filled with intrigue and sin and conflicting sentiments Magic cannot hurt you (magic) Neither can the bible (bible) I promise you won't have to worry 'bout the end of the world

If you’re not sure if your life is art Try a frame on for size Look at yourself from end to start See how you look through other people’s eyes You suspect that she might be a masterpiece On the ceiling of a church somewhere But you don’t like entering churches So you look at her on the web Go spin your web And lie in the sun You’ve made your bed And you’ve made it for no one If you’re not sure if your life is a show Change the channel and see where you go When you’re ready with the Great Comeback I’ll be waiting with the laugh track You suspect your whole life is a tragedy But I hope you live for a long, long time If there’s a trick to switch your life to a comedy Do you really think you’ll find it online? Go spin your web And lie in the sun You’ve made your bed And you’ve made it for no one Alfred was fine, driving the car ‘Cause he knew Bruce had a plan And I know you’ve gotta, I know you’ve gotta I know you’re not Batman, but you’re a good man If you’re not sure if you’re doing ok Do what you can everyday Don’t let obstacles get in your way Remember what God would say “I’m not real so I can’t move these rocks for you And you’re more than welcome to pray But you are real so you must do what you must do Act now, do not delay” Don’t spin your web You can ask someone for help You’ve made your bed And some day you won’t sleep by yourself

I’m starting a new religion You’re more than welcome to join me I only ask that you believe in the Holy Trinity Of Batman, my Mother and Wikipedia The proper day of worship for Batman is Wednesdays From The Bat we learn Truth, Justice, Self-sacrifice and the Duality of Man From Him we get our moral Bat-compass And our sense of Bat-right and Bat-wrong The cleverest thing about our Lord’s Caped Crusade Is that the greatest lessons he's taught, He taught not by shining example, but through the miracle of letting us see in the dark Every one of His mistakes and misfortunes and by letting us know who He is behind His many masks I am saved every time He fails to save Someone He loves or a stranger or a sinner I was shown the street Light the first time I watched His parents die for our sins And so like a kiss from a rose in Crime Alley I try to remind those I love that I love them The proper day of worship for my Mother is every Friday night And on most major Jewish Holidays (It has long been my understanding that when forming a new religion One should borrow liberally from an existing religion And then outright deny any similarities or claim those similarities as proof that their faith Was merely a prophesy heralding your newer, truer faith) So come celebrate my Mother By sitting down to Sabbath candles, Martinelli’s and bread Or come fast with us on Yom Kippur Or help us dust off a Chanukiah and the extra potato peelers Obviously, we honor my Father as well, but I’m sure he has no problem abdicating Deification to Our Sancta Mater Goddess of Pragmatism, Learning and Good Humor The proper time of worship for Wikipedia is Any hour of any day When you find yourself stumblingly bored and near a Holy Receiver The Wiki-gods preach that Reality is subject to Consensus and that Knowledge is Truth to Power They ask only that you read and promise to one day Throw in your two cents And perhaps a few cents more To keep things running smoothly And to give thanks Wikipedia loves Peace That’s why it’s there To settle disagreements And to calm the tempest between your temples When the right word struggles to travel from the back of your mind To the tip of your tongue Come join my religion It’s wide open We don’t have pews So we’ll meet on my couch in South City Presuming we get a couch Maybe we can find one on Craigslist